The past few months, I've been implementing some seemingly huge (positive) changes in my life. Just writing this, I have a tremendous wave of fear and stress coursing through me. Too many fears, doubts, panics, freak-outs are in my head to count. So here I am, doing the thing I think I cannot do, but that I’ve been guided to do by my Higher Self, by Source, by my Team (of spirit guides). Craaazzzzyyyyyyyyy
How did I get here? I’ll tell you.
In the past, feeling very anxious, depressed, stuck, and terrified that “this is all there is”, I actively sought out and explored various strategies and “treatments” to stop feeling this way and figure out how to feel happy more. I started with traditional talk-therapy or counseling. I reluctantly tried and discontinued several anti-anxiety and/or anti-depressant medications (with appropriate medical supervision). I’ve read and practiced the ideas from a lot of self-help style books. I learned about Reiki and experienced several Reiki/energy healing sessions.
Several of my Reiki sessions were also coupled with Akashic Records reading. This additional component of energy healing really complements and accelerates my benefits from counseling. Reiki is a Japanese name and style for universal life-force energy. Receiving this life-force energy facilitates healing on multiple levels of being- physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. As healing occurs, relaxation and pain-reduction are promoted. Anxiety and depression are reduced and shifted. Emotional blockages are opened and released. Oftentimes, the shifts and changes that are occurring and continue to occur are too deep to identify. For me, the benefits have been profound, especially after becoming attuned to Reiki and channeling this life-force energy to myself and to others. My feelings of severe depletion, being exhausted beyond a physical level, are almost entirely gone. I finally have the energy to make some much-wanted and needed changes in my life. After years of being/feeling closed off to others and myself, I’m opening up again. I regularly feel and recognize the greater depth and MORE to life that I feared was not present for me.  This also overlaps with the Akashic Records readings and becoming attuned to read my records and those of others.
The Akashic Records are challenging for me to describe. An amorphous, New-Agey, spiritual thing. Let’s start with a Star Wars analogy. If Reiki and other energy medicines are ways to channel the Force, Akashic Records reading is a way to connect with and through the Force. (“Use the Force, Luke.” ……..” Ben?!?”)  Some people describe the Akashic Records and “reading” them as a way to connect with the oneness that exists between all things, across space and time and with Source. It is said to be an energetic imprint or record of our souls’ journeys through space and time, including future possibilities for our souls. We connect to our Guides, Teachers, Loved Ones, and Source through the Akashic Records to remember who we really are and to love ourselves. For me, this typically translates to digging up and sifting through lots of buried emotional shit to really see and know myself from Source’s (or the Universe’s) perspective of unconditional love.  (I did warn you about the woo-woo stuff : )
I’ve finally scraped the surface of my transformation process.  I expect to continue with more specific examples of how Reiki, the Akashic Records, and meditation assist me to navigate these crazy-ass life changes I’m making.


food for thought:

"Reiki for Life: The Complete Guide to Reiki Practice for Levels 1, 2 & 3" by Penelope Quest"How to Read the Akashic Records: Accessing the Archive of the Soul and Its Journey"  by Linda Howe  

I think a bit more background information about me and my “journey” is in order.
I’ve worked in healthcare for more than a decade, in various settings and many locations in the US. I settled on my field as a way to help people, but also be a problem-solver, educator, learner, and explorer. I entered my studies and professional work with the hope of being excited and deeply fulfilled (much of the time anyway). I enjoyed the educational part, the challenges of learning and expanding, the relationships with my classmates. However, much to my chagrin and shame, I felt neither fulfilled nor particularly rewarded with the actual work. But by now, I had significant student loan debt and only saw one viable option– to continue in my profession. So I did, with the vague plan to explore other interests or possibilities and hoping to transition to “something else”.
Unfortunately, I didn’t account for the energetic exhaustion or anxiety/depression that engulfed me. My energy, my imagination, my openness and receptivity seemed to escape and elude me. I was stuck. Very stuck. That stagnation pervaded the other aspects of my life. I spent years looking for “my town” and “my tribe” when I should’ve been looking for ME.
Funny thing is, I thought I knew ME. In a way, I did. There was a large part of ME that I had been avoiding and shutting up for years. I had stopped listening to her and connecting with her because I was listening to my FEAR. Fear is like negativity-- loud, attention-getting, and easy to identify with (to put it mildly).
So over the past few years, I’ve been slowly teasing apart my fear(s) from the various MEs and parts of ME. The process is tightly tangled, painful, and painstaking. Lately I can feel the knots starting to loosen, the tightness beginning to ease, and the stirrings of satisfaction as I notice the changes.
(more next time as it involves going further back into my history.)
and so it continues…….


food for thought:
“The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle
“Finding Your Way in a Wild New World”, Martha Beck

Like so many others, I've been going through some "things" lately. I'm not too happy with many aspects of my life-- work, love, community, meaning of it all. I'm terrified of the answer to my recent question to myself--"Is this it?"
My life isn't bad, in fact, it's pretty darn good overall. But, I struggle to go to work. I'm exhausted and blah and can't seem to feel the openness and connection to others or myself that I've felt in the past.
So, now what?
It's time to pay attention to what I've been paying attention. Looking for clues to unravel the mystery of "where did I go?" and  "how do I get me and my mojo back?".  I've been reading a lot of self-help books (surprise!) and noticing my usual absorption of random information and energy around me. In my continuing and often unintentional research, I started hearing and learning about Reiki, a type of energy "healing" or "medicine". Yep, I just veered off into woo-woo land. Look out, because I'm about to start using terms like "empath" and "intuitive" to describe myself.
After several restorative yoga and Reiki sessions, reading about Reiki, and listening to Reiki practitioners during a podcast, I signed up for a Reiki class. Reiki is one pathway to channel life force energy through oneself to oneself or others to gently promote healing and balance on multiple levels. This is something incredibly appealing to one who feels she is constantly giving her own energy to others and taking on their energy in turn.
And so it begins.....

www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23414/reiki-what-it-is-why-you-should-consider-adding-it-to-your-routine.html​